They’ll do anything they can to find something

On Monday the president said that domestic violence doesn't count as an actual crime. He was speaking at something called the Museum of the Bible in Washington D.C. which we have all of course heard of and been to. It looks like they've got a few C.S. Lewis themed events coming up including one for Homeschool Day. They've also got an offering called Worship in the Heart with Danny Gokey. Christians love to be named Danny Gokey. I just learned from the copy that he's an American Idol guy but he looks to me a lot like Seth Rogan's character from Platonic if he were Christian. Might even suck less for all I know. That character fucking blows so bad in the TV show. Rose Byrne is nevertheless a treasure.

“There’s no crime. They said crime is down 87 percent. No, no, no, it’s more than 87 percent. Virtually nothing,” the president said.

Remember that Ricky Gervais movie about a world where no one could lie. It was impossible for them to do for some reason (?) What must it be like to live the opposite of that? To be unable to speak without lying? Do you think it's freeing in its way or its own kind of curse?

“Much lesser things, things that take place in the home they call crime, you know. They’ll do anything they can to find something. If a man has a little fight with the wife, they say ‘this was a crime, see,’ so now I can’t claim 100 percent. But we are a safe city.” 

That is indeed a very Christian thing for the president to say but even more than that it's made me realize Trump is truly the first Cop President. I'm surprised there hasn't been a President Cop series on CBS yet. Unless there is one in the works in which case I'm sure I'll learn about it during an NFL commercial.

The Patriots lost too by the way and looked like absolute shit in doing so. Not that that is as bad as the other things in here but I would have liked to have something nice for the first time in a while.

Every Latino and Black person is a criminal, beating your wife is just a little household matter, sexually assaulting women is just guys being guys, taking a little taste off the top of any transaction would be stupid not to do, and if you disagree or call us out then we'll fucking kill you.

That about sums up Trump and the cops doesn't it?

That same day a federal appeals court upheld an $83.3 million jury award against the president for defaming E. Jean Carroll in 2019 whom he was also found guilty of sexual abusing. I'm not sure if the Supreme Court will get their dirty fucking paws into that one but if they do I would bet everything I own that they will invent a new law that lets him off the hook. They won't even bother writing an explanation for it they will just do it and say fuck you what is anyone going to do about it?

Also on Monday the birthday card the president sent to the most prolific pedophile sex trafficker in history was published in the Wall Street Journal and everyone is debating whether or not the drawing he made of an armless headless girl is meant to have a the figure of a young teen.

With a little too much gusto I kind of think. People get really excited about this whole thing in a way that I find off-putting that I can't really explain.

I don't like any of the rest of the content to be clear but you do have to admit he has an ear for writing dialogue.

That's not to mention that the Supreme Court (my ass) handed down one of its most racist rulings in a history of racist rulings that said that federal agents and their masked kidnappers are free to assume that anyone Latino-looking or Spanish-speaking can be arrested for the crime of their ethnicity until they can prove they belong here. Which they of course will not be provided the opportunity to do until they have been run through the meat grinder.

I've heard people say sometimes that the worst part about living in Hell isn't the pain per se but the hopelessness. The despair that the torture will never end.

Not sure if they talk about that at The Bible Museum.

Despair itself is a sin in the first place too though so they've kind of got you by the balls coming and going on that one.

I drove to my orthopedist today and she sunk a needle deep into my fucking elbow and I made a sound like a dog that got its tail caught in the car door and she sent me on way. Good luck asshole. Don't lift anything heavier than two pounds.

I've also been watching every single Oasis concert video that comes across my feed like a Dickensian street urchin outside a butcher shop window. I fucked up not going. I fucked up.

Did I share this already? I cannot remember things very well lately. A couple of short pieces from my new book were excerpted in the very cool media concern Dirt.

Two Short Stories | Luke O’Neil

“Undulating is a gross word but it is accurate.”

The DirtyverseLuke O’Neil

It's the one about the maggots and the one about the tree I supposedly own.

For as long as I live

10:03 PM · Apr 10, 2019 The astrophysicist proclaimed apropos of nothing that the universe is blind to our human sorrows and indifferent to our human pains. Have a nice day! he added. All of which the dying comedian took umbrage with. There is a telling flaw in the logic

Flaming HydraLuke O’Neil

I also had four new post-book shorts run on Flaming Hydra the other day. One of them is titled Ah crap I’m in a psychological thriller or horror movie and 75% of my home is made up of windows but here's another different one.

10:03 PM · Apr 10, 2019

The astrophysicist proclaimed apropos of nothing that the universe is blind to our human sorrows and indifferent to our human pains. Have a nice day! he added. All of which the dying comedian took umbrage with. 

There is a telling flaw in the logic of your little aphorism the latter said. Reminding him that we ourselves are not cold and uncaring and yet we too are a part of the universe. 

We do not comprise the totality of it the comedian said.  

Which is also what I believed then and I believe looking back on the exchange now. 

For what purpose would my all too human compassion for every person who has ever existed spread backwards and forwards throughout time if it were all for nothing?

We didn’t know that the comedian was dying at the time though. And you won’t know until later that I am too. 

A dying man isn’t to be trusted. He is sort of the inverse of a younger man trying to get laid. He will say anything he can think of to delay it. 

My publisher put together a cool little zine to help promote the book and maybe I'll get some of them and send them out to some of you. Gotta look into that. It looks a little something like this.

It goes on for a bit like that you get the idea.

Here's the back cover reveal!

A precious thing so easily lost

Somebody is throwing things out of a window at the White House. That’s what the post said. Sure enough there was also a video of the very thing described. That is the opening line to a Frank O’Hara poem I’m certain of it someone else said and

Welcome to Hell WorldLuke O’Neil

The other day in here I wrote a bit about the poet Frank O'Hara and his untimely death. Thanks to Steve Smith for pointing out this series of paintings titled The Killing Cycle by O'Hara's friend Alfred Leslie.

Read more about the works here.

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